SO jealous...

If anyone is interested, my buddy Joey Garcia is now in Brazil with the WVU Law School. He and his fellow law students are blogging about their experiences in Brazil (right now they are in Manaus-- the Amazon region). It's an interesting read....and it REALLY makes me want to go back....

http://lawinbrazil.blogs.wvu.edu/bios/bio_joe_garcia

Dripping with sweat...and not in a sexy way

Ugh...I'm really gross right now. When I get really nervous or stressed out I sweat like a maniac. The last few days have been rather trying. I've been dealing with my car insurance company due to a incident in a Kmart parking lot. I honestly don't know whose fault it was but I'm nervous as hell that either way is going to cost me a bunch (though the only damage was a few scratches to the respective bumpers). Lately I just start to perspire as soon as my cell phone rings. I feel like a Pavlovian dog--- minus the treat.

Some relatively good news is that I have an apartment in Nashville--finally. The trip to find a place turned into a roller-coaster of intense freak-outs and total contentment. It was weird. Originally, Felipe and I were going to fly out Monday morning and return Tuesday evening. However, we missed the flight on Monday (due to a 1/2hr. technicality--by one minute, literally). So, we had to re-schedule the same flight for Tuesday morning but couldn't get a return flight until Thursday morning. In the end, it worked out better that we had the extra day. Let me tell you, finding a suitable place to live at a REASONABLE price in Nashville is like asking for a white Christmas in Miami--ain't gonna happen. There were some ONE bedroom/STUDIO places that were going for $1,000/mo. Who can afford that?? Certainly not me, even on my newly augmented stipend. Needless to say, it was rather frustrating. Then, when the gods shone on me and I managed to find something cheaper, still clean and within walking distance, my old landlord decided to be a total butt-munch. He knew that the new place needed his recommendation to accept me and he made a point of saying on the phone to me, "Well, you know, your place still looked kinda dirty to me. Are you sure you steam-cleaned the carpets? How about in the closets? You know, I don't think your roommate gave me all the keys..." etc, etc. AGHHHH!! What a punk!!! He rents to some total losers that trash his place (one even set the place on FIRE a few years ago--no kidding) then he has the audacity to give me the third degree. He should've kissed my feet when I left and thanked me for being the responsible, clean tenant that I am. So ungrateful---especially when he knew that I was relying on his help at that moment. I suppose he said something nice, or at least ambiguous, because I got the apartment I wanted. Although the people running the place seem a bit shady and rude, it is the price and location I wanted so, I'm ok with it.

Today, I have a job interview at 2pm for an Asst. HR Manager summer position at Fuji Film. It isn't a dream job but, hey, the pay is good and it's about 10 mins. from my parent's house. So, here I am typing away and sweating profusely. I really need this job. The lease on my new apartment starts June 1st so, I'll being paying rent all summer long, even though I won't be living there; it kinda sucks but, there was no negotiating with those people. They knew that if I didn't like it, there were 10 more people right behind me willing to do anything to get the place. I just really hope that this summer can be relaxing and restorative; I could really use some time to decompress-- if not, by the time August rolls around there'll be nothing left of me but a stinky puddle on the floor.

If I never see another cardboard box again in my life...

...I'll be very happy. I'd forgotten what a major pain in the ass moving can be. And how did I end up with all this crap?? Sometimes I think being a baglady isn't such a bad idea--- just live with what you can carry on your back. None of this renting a U-Haul to tote around crap that you never use and rarely think about until you have to pick it up and carry it up/down stairs. Ugh. The worst part is that the majority of the housewares here are mine (dishes, living room furniture, cooking utensils, etc.) So, my roommate is already finishing moving out (plus her parents live 1/2hr. away) and I'm left standing in a half-full apartment with the realization that all this shit is MINE. I've learned my lesson well, though. In Nashville, I will be the poster-child for minimalist living. No longer will I give in to the thought, "Well, it could come in handy someday." If I don't need it to live until tomorrow, it goes to someone else. My Achille's heal is paper--- I have a frickin' library of books, old notebooks and loose papers that have some kind of sentimental value. I never took up smoking because I knew, if I didn't take care, my place would light up like a Christmas tree. *Sigh* Just when I thought the stress was over...pardon me while I go jump in a dumpster for more boxes....

"Master of the Universe" feels good...

I passed!!! Woo-hoo!! I have successfully defended my thesis and I am now a MASTER of the universe! Whew, what a load off. I'm so relieved. I have a few corrections and changes to make before it must be submitted electronically on Friday but, that isn't too big a deal. I only have one final exam to take, which will be cake so, I'm pretty much set. All I have left to do is graduate. Now I must begin hunting large, cardboard boxes....

On Saturday night I went out with some of my girlfriends and had dinner and drinks. It was great to catch up, see where everyone will be next year and, of course, talk about boys :) I guess, as a female, you never really outgrow that, huh?

Wrapping Up and Moving Out

In a few hours, I will have finished my very last final exam in literature...ever. Woo-hoo!! I'm so excited. I only have one more final exam next Wednesday (in Applied Spanish Linguistics for Second Language Acquisition), which shouldn't be too bad. I'm SO happy to be done. I'm sick to death of linguistics, Spanish lit. and literary criticism. I miss history...and facts... and objectivism...and reality. I guess I'm a bit too realistic to exist permanently in the literary realm. I need to get out before I start to hate to read, which would be an absolute shame.

I defend my thesis this Friday afternoon and I'm extremely nervous. Two of my committee members are totally laid-back, whatever kinda people but, my chair is really hard-line. All of the cross-exs with her will be in Spanish and she has pretty high expectations of me. My thesis is a big mixture of Latin American culture, history and political science (to accomodate the areas of interest of each of my committee members). The title is, "NGOs as Agents of Historical Change: A Comparative Study of Violence against Women in Argentina and Brazil". I know, I know, it's a mouthfull. I didn't want it to be so long and pretentious but, it just somehow morphed into that. I was really jazzed about it at first, then the newness wore off (especially when I had a hell of a time doing research in Brazil) so, by the time I got back I almost hated it. I've been struggling with this love-hate relationship I have toward my thesis; now that it's almost done, it feels like an old friend that I have to say goodbye to. I'm very excited to start my Ph.D. I feel like the world is opening up to me...finally.

I'll be traveling to Nashville in the next 2 weeks to try and find an apartment (at a reasonable distance/price). I'll be living alone for the very first time, which is the way I want it. I've dealt with way too many crazy, weird, lazy, dead-beat roommates. I'm ready for a break; I want to be alone, enjoy the peace and get to know myself a little bit. I just don't know what I'm going to do with all the crap in my current apartment....I'm certainly not hefting it to TN...any takers???

Going to HE (double hockey stick) in a Garrison-shaped basket

I was supremely irritated to read the DA (university newspaper) this morning due to the outcome of an election. You see, WVU has recently seen the retirement of President Hardesty (who served for 12 years). So, the search has been on in the last few months to find his replacement. Several extremely qualified candidates were given a crack at the interviewing process. However, strange things began to happen and people began to murmur their discontent, and continue to do so--some are doing more than murmuring. The fact of the matter is this: the BOG (Board of Governors) on campus, which functions much like the U.S. Electoral College, decided that Mr. Garrison was to be the next president by a vote of 16-1 over Mr. Nellis (who is a former Dean of the WVU College of Arts&Sciences). I'm sorry, I just gotta call a big 'ole BULL SHIT on the BOG for this one. Come on! You people couldn't have made this whole charade more obvious if you tried. The fact that Garrison has NO experience in university administration AND the fact that he used to be the HEAD of the BOG AND the fact that he's in bed with practically every major political player in the state (not to mention being Hardesty's pet project) is clearly representative of outrageous personal preference. There were actually candidates who dropped out in mid-process because even THEY could feel that this was a fixed job. Dr. Nellis has done so much for WVU in the past, not to mention the fact that he has a great reputation with students, faculty and administration alike, and he's so incredibly qualified for the job (ex- Dean, ex-University Proctor, etc.) that only an idiot would opt for someone else. Wait, let me correct myself---only a BOARD of idiots would chose another person. It's just so totally asinine I'm overwhelmed. They even went so far as to call an "emergency" faculty senate to have professors vote and give feedback on who would be the best candidate (after some publicly complained). WHERE ARE THOSE RESULTS??? Because you can bet that the faculty didn't vote overwhelmingly for Garrison; clearly, this "emergency" meeting was just a nice, politically-correct way to make everyone feel as though their opinion had been heard when, in reality, it didn't mean anything at all. Screw you, BOG; stop pretending you give a shit what anyone else thinks. Stop wasting our time and energy trying to make you listen to what we really WANT and NEED here at WVU. Obviously, nothing can or will get in the way of your agenda so, good job, you got what you set out to get from the very beginning. Congrats to you, Garrison; you're set for life while everyone who works their ass off at WVU can suffer from your incompetence, continual rises in tuition (5.5% already scheduled for this fall), and stagnate employee salaries. You can piss around and call yourself "president" while always knowing that you BOUGHT yourself the most important position on campus. Let's give them all a round of applause for their magnificent satire...(curtain falls and lights fade out).

Goin' down to Nashville...

I love Vanderbilt!! I had such a great time while I was there. The professors were so incredibly nice and the campus is gorgeous. It is a registered arboreum and there are about a million squirrels per square foot. Pitt made a sort of last-ditch effort to reel me in-- offering me more money and a fellowship (for only 4 years, what is that??)-- but, when I went to visit I was treated, not rudely but, rather coldly. So, I'm making it official--- I'm doing my Ph.D. at Vanderbilt! I'm so excited. There are lots of apartments right beside campus, the TA offices are AMAZING (recently renovated, all glass and wood, with unlimited printing!!!) and, right across the street from the History Department they have a Panera, Ben&Jerry's and Starbucks. Honestly, what more could I ask for? It is a very quiet, private campus right smack in the middle of downtown Nashville. It has the seclusion of a small university with the bustling night-life of a major city, with ethnic food and diversity out the wazoo. And money, sheesh, this place has money like I've never seen...only dreamed of...they told me, point-blank, I am expected to never be in Nashville for the summer; I will always be abroad somewhere. YEAHHH!!! I can definitely deal with that-- Brazil every summer with FULL FUNDING. It's just mind-boggling. Plus, these professors publish like crazy and let their advisees co-publish with them. Plus, any conference in the world I want to go to, I can. AND, if I want to, in my last year I have the choice to completely design a course and teach it that Spring semester--- that's huge, a major resume-builder. It was certainly a whirlwind day and they had every minute of it planned and packed with activities, I barely had dinner before I flew back, but it was awesome. If you can't tell, I'm REALLY excited. This really is the perfect place for me and I can't wait to start. All I have to do is finish up this damn thesis, defend it, pass all my finals and I'm the hell outta here!! Woo-hoo!!!

Drowning in Babies...ugh...

What a weekend...oy, I'm so tired I don't know how I'm going to coherently teach this morning. It seems like all I've been doing is driving. I took my boy down to Elkins so we could eat at one of our favorite restaurants for his birthday then, I was supposed to leave Friday night to go to my parent's but, the weather had other plans. Everyone got a dumping of snow and nothing gets my parents into a tizzy quicker than bad driving conditions. So, I left Saturday morning--early. The West Virginia roads were awful...AWFUL...shame on our road crews. It was an absolute mess. Miraculously, after crossing the stateline into Maryland, things cleared up.....interesting, huh? We even followed the snow plow until he pulled over beside the "Welcome to Maryland" sign along I-68 and forced us to pass.

Then, on Saturday we had a big St. Patrick's Day dinner at my grandmother's house-- complete with corned beef, cabbage, potatoes and green beer; ok, just kidding on the beer-- I suggested it for next year as a "new and improved" menu option. Grandma just giggled and said I was bad. What's St. Patty's without green beer?? Even though we aren't really Irish--well, maybe just a little in the way that every American is a little Irish. When your family's been here over 200 years, something's gotta give, you know?

Then, Sunday afternoon was the *bum, bum bum* double baby shower that I had been summoned home to attend. Two, yes two, of my cousins are currently pregnant; one is about 5 months along and the other is about ready to burst any day now. So, it was an afternoon of pale colors, crazy contraptions that vibration and make sounds like rain, and lots and lots of family gossip (with coffee). Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for both of them. I guess I've just never been the kind of girl to get too excited over breast pumps and maternity clothes. Someday I'll have children, and I'll be very excited, but I don't ever think I'll be "baby crazy". I think that if having kids is the only thing you ever have on your mind, you need a hobby!

T-minus 3 and counting...

Got a "No" from UTX-Austin, not a huge surprise there-- they're more Mexico-centered so, Brazilian studies probably seemed offbase. I did, however, get a "Yes" from UNM, which I'm rather pleased about; though, again, it is not the offer of my dreams. Three left to go so, it's still up in the air...sort of...

Don't go toward the light!!!!

Weeelll....got some good news from Pitt! Guess I won't be taking that leap after all....hahaha....I can't say that it's the offer of my dreams or anything but, hey, it is another option. So, now I've got what I wanted-- a choice. Kinda feels like (and I can only imagine this) two burly men fighting for my hand...I know, I know, it's totally archaic and anti-feminist but, who doesn't want to be wanted? Anyway, the count is officially down to 5 more schools....hopefully, I'll hear from the rest very soon. I'm scheduled to fly down and visit Vanderbilt during Spring Break so, it would be nice to know for sure if I should be looking at apartment possibilities or not; so that would give the remaining schools about 2 weeks to get back to me....that's not unreasonable, right?

I've also been debating about the writing contest coming up; a few people have told me I should enter but...eh, I don't know. I love to write and I'd say I'm a good writer but, since I'm a grad student, I have to compete on the M.F.A. level. Yeah, not so crazy about that. I mean, I have good ideas but I'm definitely not as polished as someone who does this all the time...and plans to do it for the rest of their lives. Granted, some people with M.F.A.s are still crappy writers but, it significantly reduces the odds. Plus, entering a contest makes me a competitive writer....a quasi-professional, which I have no intentions of being. I do it because I enjoy it, not for any gain. So, eh...not sure about that one.

My birthday is coming up...not sure what I'm gonna do for this one. Not such a big deal to turn 24, really. After 21, I just stopped paying attention. Perhaps go out to dinner with my honey, get a massage, skip all my classes, etc---the usual fair. We'll see....any ideas from the peanut gallery? What should I do for my 24th birthday?

Ok, now I'm officially devastated....

No!! Not you too?! You're breaking my heart....I'm not going to be a Wolverine?....Say it ain't so!! Two in one day....this is too harsh for words...we could've made such beautiful history together...(sniff, sniff)...

"(Not) my home in Indiana...."

You know, as I'm racking up so much experience with rejection, I've noticed a few things. Primarily, if the envelope I receive in the mail is super-thin (containing only one sheet of paper), this usually indicates a quick, crushing blow aimed directly at the stomach area (or, as I like to call it, blitzkrieg denial). Secondly, without fail, each rejection letter starts something like this, "As you know, (University Name Here) receives a large number of applicants every year. Due to limited resources, our admissions committee is required to reject highly qualified students, like yourself, that have the ability to succeed in a doctoral program, blah, blah, blah...." I get what they're doing but, seriously, does it make any sense to build someone up just to then, in the next breath, tell them "NO"? It's the equivalent of saying to some poor rebound guy, "It's not you it's me" or "You're just too good for me" or "I just need to be alone and get to know myself" or "I need some space" or just about any other lame-o excuse for not wanting the person. Why can't they just be honest and say, "We're just not that into you." (sigh) I've almost reached the halfway mark in possible grad schools and I find myself very discouraged. Granted, I know the process is rigorous and there are infinite numbers of qualified applicants but, come on, how many women apply for a Ph.D. in the first place? Especially in History? Where's my damn affirmative action when I really need it???

Ode to Sara Pritchard....

I love this woman!!! (In a platonic admiration sort of way...) She's just the best. I devoured Lately and I've begun reading Crackpots. I attended her reading the other night in the WVU Library with a slew of MFAs, professors and other beaming supporters. (She is a former WVU MFA--gotta support the team, right?) Her novel is good so far but I ADORED her collection of short stories; they're all so real, quirky and funny, not to mention surprising. She's the kind of writer I want to be. She read a new story last night, which made me kind of nervous because 9 times out of 10 when a writer makes that announcement, the piece stinks. However, it was great--- an engaging, rolling narrative that took the listener on a rambuctuous ride through her head. It took a lot of--excuse the expression-- balls to read something new and have the confidence that it was quality work. So, ALL HAIL SARA PRITCHARD!!! We are so not worthy :)

Again????

I'm starting to see a disturbing trend..."no" pouring in from all over the country...this is rapidly turning into an old fashioned ass-kicking...in case anyone is keeping score it is:

Smug-Picky-Over-Priced Graduate-Institutions-That-Wouldn't-Know-a-Good-Thing-If-It-Hit-Them-Upside-the-Head= 3

Little 'Ole Me=1

UCLA...Poo-C-L-A...

Yup, you guessed it, another "no". Grrr...a pox upon UCLA!! I really liked that one...well, 9 more left to go...I've already begun to sweat...

Random assortment...

--- I wanna give a big shout out (and thank you) to Dr. Samyn, Dr. Gail Adams and multiple MFAs for their Valentine's Day "Love" reading. Very enjoyable...I particularly enjoyed the various takes on "love" and what it represents for different people.

---My second Arabic lesson was the other day. I can now write my name (first and last), ask others their name, recognize (more or less) distinct letters within the context of words and say "yes/no/please/thank you". Just as a side-note to all linguaphiles out there: Arabic does not have a verb for "to be" or "to have"; they just skip it--- that totally blew my mind. Anyone who has studied linguistics will understand what I mean...

---I had an awesome dream the other night and thought to myself, "What a great story this would make!" and then I forgot it. Hate that...

---No news from any other schools yet...I'm starting to get anxious. The lightening acceptance/rejection from the first two schools has ruined me. I was totally non-chalant and now I'm checking all forms of mail like a maniac.

---Filled out all my paperwork for graduation...how weird. This semester is flying by...half of my thesis is done...we're rapidly approaching mid-terms...sheesh...I'll be packing before I know it!

---I'm looking for a new artist/band. I tend to be rather obsessive about music...always playing it and always searching for that new sound. If you know of a group/singer that tickles your fancy, pisses you off or just makes your toes tap, lemme know!!!!

Duke....eh, not feeling so much love from that corner...

Just got a big, fat, juicy "NO" from Duke...ah well, they only admit like 3 people a year to the program anyway...it was worth a shot...who wants to be a Blue Devil anyway? Poo on you guys...10 more to go...

Vanderbilt loves me, really loves me...

Guess who just got accepted to Vanderbilt's Ph.D. program??? (doing happy dance) Oh yeah, oh yeah...feels good!!!! With: a 5 year fellowship, no teaching obligations, tuition waiver and, may I say, a lovely stipend...more money than I've ever made in my life. How awesome is that?! The first one I hear from, I get into--sweetness. One down, 11 more to go! Yee-haw for Nashville :)

Putting a hit out on Old Man Winter

I freakin' HATE the cold! It makes me cranky. The worst is the wind...no matter how many layers I wear, the cold just goes straight through me. I think whales have the right idea--maybe I should put on a few pounds for insulation. I can't handle it much longer. I'd MUCH rather be in Brazil right now, sweating my brains out. It only makes it worse that our area has been hit by an arctic front; we've had snow nearly every day for the last week and a half. Temperatures have been in the negative digits---not including the wind chill. I'm not trying to bore everyone with my Weather Channel talk, I'm just fed up with winter. This is WV, not Minnesota...it's just not right, we didn't sign up for this. Our little buddy, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow which, as we all know, means spring should come early this year. I can't wait...
I've been trying to keep myself busy to forget how utterly miserable it is outside. My friend Sam has been helping me learn Arabic, which I'm really excited about. I know what you're thinking---Arabic? Why? How? What about Portuguese? What can I say? I'm just a linguaphile. Plus, I think once you've learned one language it makes you more impatient for the next one, and the next one and so on. I certainly haven't abandoned Portuguese. I just figured it wouldn't hurt to start working with a language that has nothing at all to do with the other two I've learned.
Arabic was the perfect choice in that. It is in no way related to Romance languages so, it won't trip me up in terms of vocab or grammar. I'm really jazzed about it. It just such a pretty language. The calligraphy is amazing-- the writing is both literature and art. The sound is very exotic too-- but very hard to pronounce. I've already made a mix CD of music by Nancy Ajram and Najwa Karam. Pretty awesome, especially the duet with Nancy and the Gypsy Kings, "Ya Habibi Yalla" ---totally makes me dance around in the car. Sometime soon I'd like to visit the local mosque. All I'll be able to say is: "hello", "my name is", "No, I don't speak Arabic--only a few words." and "Where are you from?" but, hey, you gotta start somewhere...

Video Art

This guy Rob Dougan is just too cool... it's almost video art...big shout out to Ryan for telling me about him...I'm gonna have this song stuck in my head for days...