Ode to Sara Pritchard....

I love this woman!!! (In a platonic admiration sort of way...) She's just the best. I devoured Lately and I've begun reading Crackpots. I attended her reading the other night in the WVU Library with a slew of MFAs, professors and other beaming supporters. (She is a former WVU MFA--gotta support the team, right?) Her novel is good so far but I ADORED her collection of short stories; they're all so real, quirky and funny, not to mention surprising. She's the kind of writer I want to be. She read a new story last night, which made me kind of nervous because 9 times out of 10 when a writer makes that announcement, the piece stinks. However, it was great--- an engaging, rolling narrative that took the listener on a rambuctuous ride through her head. It took a lot of--excuse the expression-- balls to read something new and have the confidence that it was quality work. So, ALL HAIL SARA PRITCHARD!!! We are so not worthy :)

Again????

I'm starting to see a disturbing trend..."no" pouring in from all over the country...this is rapidly turning into an old fashioned ass-kicking...in case anyone is keeping score it is:

Smug-Picky-Over-Priced Graduate-Institutions-That-Wouldn't-Know-a-Good-Thing-If-It-Hit-Them-Upside-the-Head= 3

Little 'Ole Me=1

UCLA...Poo-C-L-A...

Yup, you guessed it, another "no". Grrr...a pox upon UCLA!! I really liked that one...well, 9 more left to go...I've already begun to sweat...

Random assortment...

--- I wanna give a big shout out (and thank you) to Dr. Samyn, Dr. Gail Adams and multiple MFAs for their Valentine's Day "Love" reading. Very enjoyable...I particularly enjoyed the various takes on "love" and what it represents for different people.

---My second Arabic lesson was the other day. I can now write my name (first and last), ask others their name, recognize (more or less) distinct letters within the context of words and say "yes/no/please/thank you". Just as a side-note to all linguaphiles out there: Arabic does not have a verb for "to be" or "to have"; they just skip it--- that totally blew my mind. Anyone who has studied linguistics will understand what I mean...

---I had an awesome dream the other night and thought to myself, "What a great story this would make!" and then I forgot it. Hate that...

---No news from any other schools yet...I'm starting to get anxious. The lightening acceptance/rejection from the first two schools has ruined me. I was totally non-chalant and now I'm checking all forms of mail like a maniac.

---Filled out all my paperwork for graduation...how weird. This semester is flying by...half of my thesis is done...we're rapidly approaching mid-terms...sheesh...I'll be packing before I know it!

---I'm looking for a new artist/band. I tend to be rather obsessive about music...always playing it and always searching for that new sound. If you know of a group/singer that tickles your fancy, pisses you off or just makes your toes tap, lemme know!!!!

Duke....eh, not feeling so much love from that corner...

Just got a big, fat, juicy "NO" from Duke...ah well, they only admit like 3 people a year to the program anyway...it was worth a shot...who wants to be a Blue Devil anyway? Poo on you guys...10 more to go...

Vanderbilt loves me, really loves me...

Guess who just got accepted to Vanderbilt's Ph.D. program??? (doing happy dance) Oh yeah, oh yeah...feels good!!!! With: a 5 year fellowship, no teaching obligations, tuition waiver and, may I say, a lovely stipend...more money than I've ever made in my life. How awesome is that?! The first one I hear from, I get into--sweetness. One down, 11 more to go! Yee-haw for Nashville :)

Putting a hit out on Old Man Winter

I freakin' HATE the cold! It makes me cranky. The worst is the wind...no matter how many layers I wear, the cold just goes straight through me. I think whales have the right idea--maybe I should put on a few pounds for insulation. I can't handle it much longer. I'd MUCH rather be in Brazil right now, sweating my brains out. It only makes it worse that our area has been hit by an arctic front; we've had snow nearly every day for the last week and a half. Temperatures have been in the negative digits---not including the wind chill. I'm not trying to bore everyone with my Weather Channel talk, I'm just fed up with winter. This is WV, not Minnesota...it's just not right, we didn't sign up for this. Our little buddy, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow which, as we all know, means spring should come early this year. I can't wait...
I've been trying to keep myself busy to forget how utterly miserable it is outside. My friend Sam has been helping me learn Arabic, which I'm really excited about. I know what you're thinking---Arabic? Why? How? What about Portuguese? What can I say? I'm just a linguaphile. Plus, I think once you've learned one language it makes you more impatient for the next one, and the next one and so on. I certainly haven't abandoned Portuguese. I just figured it wouldn't hurt to start working with a language that has nothing at all to do with the other two I've learned.
Arabic was the perfect choice in that. It is in no way related to Romance languages so, it won't trip me up in terms of vocab or grammar. I'm really jazzed about it. It just such a pretty language. The calligraphy is amazing-- the writing is both literature and art. The sound is very exotic too-- but very hard to pronounce. I've already made a mix CD of music by Nancy Ajram and Najwa Karam. Pretty awesome, especially the duet with Nancy and the Gypsy Kings, "Ya Habibi Yalla" ---totally makes me dance around in the car. Sometime soon I'd like to visit the local mosque. All I'll be able to say is: "hello", "my name is", "No, I don't speak Arabic--only a few words." and "Where are you from?" but, hey, you gotta start somewhere...

Video Art

This guy Rob Dougan is just too cool... it's almost video art...big shout out to Ryan for telling me about him...I'm gonna have this song stuck in my head for days...

East Coast Girl in a West Coast World

Well, I did it. I got through this weekend and today (on 4 hours sleep thanks to a plane delay and icy highways all along I-79 South) so, I am officially back in the "real world". Las Vegas is definitely like a parallel universe. Even the trip there, flying over the Grand Canyon and deserts, was like landing on an alien planet. The conference was good, pretty much as I expected it to be. I was happy to discover that I was WAY over-prepared and had thought out my presentation a lot more than most--especially the seasoned professionals. My talk went well and people responded with lots of questions so, that made me feel like I at least piqued their attention. I didn't know anyone at the conference but people were nice and talked with me quite a bit. My touring of the city was alone, which was sad and made me miss my honey-- especially when practically everyone there was part of a couple-- but I liked it; it was like taking myself on a rather extended date. I don't understand women who can't be alone. If you can't stand to be around just yourself, how can you expect anyone else to enjoy it? I wined and dined myself, took myself on long, romantic walks and even *gasp* took myself to bed; I'm really quite shameless ;)

These are just a few of my favorite shots from The Venetian (above), Caesar's Palace (right), the Paris (bottom left) and the desert outside the Las Vegas city limits from the airplane(bottom right). There are some rather impressive sites in Vegas, though there is also a lot of tacky crap. "Sin City" is just Disney World for American adults. Americans too narrow-minded and/or classless to go to these places in the real world (i.e. Italy, France, Greece, etc.) because, God forbid, they have to actually learn to speak another language, eat unfamiliar food and accept the value in other cultures. And gambling, don't get me started. Any kind of lottery or gambling is just a way for businesses to take advantage of the poor and uneducated. These people would spend money on slot machines, card games and jackpot tickets (I worked at a convenience store for a bit, I saw it happen), then use food stamps or welfare for food. Tell me that makes sense. Wanna get rich? GET A JOB AND WORK!

On the positive side, I saw and met lots of characters. I have enough "fodder for fiction" to last me a whole collection of short stories. West Coast people are a different breed from East Coast people-- the way they talk, dress, think, etc. It's very interesting how the same country can produce such distinct representatives. I think I'd like to live on the West Coast for a bit in the future. I met the coolest women from Seattle; I could totally live there. Biodiesel cars, eco-friendly highways, Birkenstocks, coffee, rainy weather...what more could I ask for? Plus, on the West Coast my language affinities are seen as an asset, not a oddity. Here in WV, loving to speak Spanish and Portuguese and a fascination with those cultures is met with, "Where did that come from? When will you use it? What kind of job can you get with that?", whereas on the West Coast people say, "Oh, really? That's great. I have been studying it myself for __ years. It's really harder than people think. You know, you could get a job in 5 seconds where I live in California." (sigh) I guess I was just born on the wrong side of the country...or the world, maybe both. All in all, it was a valuable learning experience: I practiced a lot of Spanish, watched a few telenovelas and a Mexican soccer game, gave my first professional paper presentation, got to see a new city and traveled utterly alone for the very first time. Now that I know that I can do it, I feel secure that--no matter where I end up for my Ph.D.-- I'll be just fine.

El fin del mundo??

arg...what is up with my life lately? All my best-laid plans seem to be fallin apart. Yesterday, I get an email from another university I recently applied to saying they never received my transcripts...my transcripts?! I sent those in October. What the hell, man? Every time I involve another office with other people, things fall into chaos. So, I had to run around today like crazy printing things off and faxing them around.

This morning, I informed my classes that I wouldn't be there on Friday due to my conference in NV. The first class threw a little tantrum-- "That's not fair! Why do we have to be here when you aren't? Just cancel class." Wah, wah, wah. The second class heard the same news in the same way in the same lesson plan and their response was, "Ok, have a good time. See you Monday." Go figure. It just goes to show how different every class truly is. I guess I understand their annoyance but, hey, I have to go and my department doesn't let me cancel classes---ever. Unless I die pretty much, I have to be there or a fill-in must be. I'm just a peon. Only full professors have the right to cancel classes and throw it all to the wind. It's a shame. They could be a really fun class-- they surely have a lot of spunk. We'll see. Until then, cry me a river...life isn't fair, get used to it-- I sure have.

Close calls

So much to tell! For starters, I had a very close-call with one of my graduate applications. One of my safety schools, which shall remain nameless, contacted me not too long ago regarding a missing recommendation letter. I was rather surprised given the fact that I kept in regular contact with my recommenders and they told me everything was done. So, I go back and forth with the graduate secretary about what format, who it was, etc. I ask my recommender to send an electronic copy of the letter through email, which she does, a fax copy, which she does, and another hardcopy, which she does. However, I am repeatedly told by the university that nothing has come through and time is running out. I, of course, start to freak out because of all the time and money I've invested in all this and fate just seems to be working against me---all the sent materials are just drifting in space somewhere. Luckily, my recommender happens to know the graduate director at the university and starts to converse with him directly. Magically, the letter is found (in what form I still don't know) and my application is now complete. Guess it pays to know people...or at least know people who do. This episode has made me really nervous about the last 4 schools that have yet to confirm that all materials have been received. I know for a fact that I sent everything to everyone on time but, there are certain aspects that are out of my control. The sweating portion of the program has yet to end.

In other news, last night my honey and I attended a "Black and White" themed birthday party for a friend of ours. It was a great time until, suddenly, an ambulance shows up at the party. Everyone had noticed a rather intoxicated young man being carried around by his two friends but, since he was the only drunk one, people let it go. Apparently, his friends got scared and called an ambulance...and, as soon as the EMTs discover the kid was only 20, they called the cops. Craziness. As it turns out, NO ONE invited these guys and NO ONE knew them. They just randomly showed up at the party (brought their own vodka) and proceeded to get totally smashed in a stranger's house. What is up with people?? So, of course, the cops start asking who lives here, etc. My friends ended up getting a citation for providing alcohol to a minor that they A) don't know B) didn't invite C) didn't know he was under-aged and D) didn't really provide alcohol to since he brought his own. Needless to say, they were royally pissed and very scared because, as international students these things can have much bigger implications. I helped to translate things for them and explain that things weren't as they seemed but, the law is the law. I immediately found the two friends (also 20), hiding in a corner of the house and told them they needed to apologize to my friends, give their contact information and pay for the citation they caused. They agreed and, hopefully, they will honor their word but, people that do things like that aren't necessarily the most honorable to begin with. Phew...what a crazy week...

In the aftermath of fun

I think I woke up this morning with a hangover...not sure, never had one before. Although, it wasn't a hangover in the traditional sense--- I only had one drink last night so, it wasn't from alcohol. My belief is that it was a combination of factors. The major one being the dinner party my roomie and I threw last night.

We ended up with about 20 people in our little apartment...it was rather hot and crowded but there was plenty of food (thank God, I was really worried) and playing games distracted us all from the heat. "Apples to Apples" and "Guesstures" were the chosen games of the night, which was as much fun to watch as it was to play. It was a great mixture of friends: high school, college, grad school, mine, hers, Felipe's, etc. Since it was also a potluck, the mixture of food was really interesting: vegan pizza, Brazilian meatloaf, Spanish tortilla de patatas, cornbread, pasta salad, pineapple casserole, etc. Somehow, it all just worked.

After the party, we all decided the night was just too young so, we went out for drinks and more conversation. I had one drink--an orange mojito (pronounced "moe-hee-toe", though all my American friends insisted in calling it a "moe-gy-toe" which sounded rather naughty to me, haha). It was just a fun night, all around. People seemed to have a good time, eat enough and enjoy conversing with one another. What more can a hostess ask for? I'm just bummed that I forgot to take pictures.

So, this morning...not sure what happened with that. I just woke up feeling heavy, tired, grumpy and with a serious headache. Maybe it was the smoke from the bar last night. It does have a tendency to get to me rather easily. Maybe I was just plain tired (I slept until noon today--yipes!). It could be the stress of cleaning and planning for a party. In any case, today was practically useless in terms of getting work done. I managed to get a little reading in this evening but nada for my thesis. So glad this is a 3-day weekend; I'm gonna need it....

The Office Hour Blues

(set to typical blues riff)

Sittin' alone in my office

DA-DAHH-DA-DA

Got nothin' to do

DA-DAHH-DA-DA

My classes are finished

And my lesson plans are too

I got the blues,

Alone with a wondering mind

I got the blues,

The Office Hour Blues.

My baby he loves me

DA-DAHH-DA-DA

But he's in class

DA-DAHH-DA-DA

So I'm watching the snow fall

And sittin' on my ass

I got the blues,

Bored with no one to talk to

I got the blues,

The Office Hour Blues.

The life of a teacher

DA-DAHH-DA-DA

Is full of stress

DA-DAHH-DA-DA

But the days that ain't busy

Make me like it less

I got the blues,

Need to keep myself on the move

I got the blues,

The Office Hour Blues.

I can totally relate...

...to this picture. Anyone who calls themselves a writer knows that terrible feeling known as "writer's block" and the inevitable crap it produces in moments of scholastic desperation. I can see it from both sides now (hail Joni Mitchell!!)-- as a teacher and as a student. Just thought it might give someone else a giggle...

A fun way to waste 5 minutes...

This is cute and totally pointless, which makes it darn near irresistible to try at least once...especially if you like socks...

Folding Socks Online

How bored am I...sheesh...

Why am I still awake??

That is certainly the question of the hour...well, of the last 3 hours, actually. I am not a person that suffers from insomnia. Usually, I'm the first guy to crash in bed after 30 minutes of T.V. So, this is a first for me.

I guess I can't sleep because I'm thinking too much right now. I hate it when that happens. You'd assume that I think more than enough during regular business hours so, my brain would want a break. But, here I am. I'm thinking about the past. The funeral this last weekend will forever be ingrained in my psyche. I feel old and tired and sad. It's selfish, I guess. My Pop-pop is at peace now but I really miss him. I'm just really blue lately. I sometimes cry at the drop of a hat--- a sad song on the radio, any old man who walks by, a traffic jam, burnt toast...just about anything.

At the same time, I'm relieved. I finished my last Ph.D. application today and sent it off; I'm rather proud of myself for finishing it all up 2 months early. Now, I play the waiting game. Hopefully, there will be at least one "yes" out of a dozen. I can't stand being unsure about the future; especially when it is as fast as next year. I've been looking at a few "Plan B's"---working at an American Embassy overseas, applying for the FBI and/or CIA as a "Linguistic Specialist", substitute teaching (please God, no), getting certified as a massage therapist/yoga instructor, and an unending list of other "fillers". Truth is, all I want to do is exactly what I'm applying for now. I'll be pretty crushed if it doesn't work out so, of course, I'm worrying about it at 2am.

I gotta get up early and drive home tomorrow for Christmas break-- and because I have a dentist appointment. Unfortunately, it won't be much of a break. I'll be writing my thesis while I'm there and trying to garner some bit of the holiday spirit while attempting in vain to not think about the one person in the family who's missing. After, I'll come right back to Motown to use the library and get ridiculously drunk for New Year's Eve because I deserve to lose control for a few minutes. All in all, I'll be glad to see 2006 go-- it's time to move on.

Not so good...

...is how I'm doing lately. Thanksgiving was fine until we found out that my Pop-pop is dying. Since then, my mother has been going back and forth to Philadelphia to help my aunt take care of him. Things have been getting progressively worse. I have been expecting "the call" for about a week now, though the doctors only gave him four days. It's been really hard on all of us. He's a very special person and we all love him a lot. I am very close to him so, it's hard to know I'll never see him again. Felipe has really supported me through this last week, even though it's a sad time for him too-- they really liked each other. On top of that, we're coming rapidly into finals week. Stress levels are rather high at the moment. In so many ways, I just want this semester to end so I can re-group and recover during Christmas. It has been and will be a bitter-sweet holiday season this year. I will miss him a lot. Losing a grandparent is hard because, usually, it's your first experience with death and it is a sort of signal that your youth/childhood is ending. I don't feel ready to grow up yet. Maybe no one ever does...you just have to.

"Fat and Lazy" looks good on me

Ahhhhh.....I'm so glad to be home. I needed this mini-vacation thing. I'm more relaxed then I have been in weeks. Emergency TA meeting? Cat up a tree? House on fire? Sorry, I just don't care; and it's nice.

Plus, I sent out the final materials for the first 4 Ph.D. programs. That's all done and in fate's hands now. Though one of my recommenders hasn't turned in their stuff yet, but I'm not gonna stress-- it'll get done. So, I've turned my attention to the next three schools, which seem significantly less picky and bitchy than the first group.

In happier news, I have been sleeping until noon, watching lots of Mexican soap-operas and eating seconds of everything my mother makes. If I'm lucky I'll gain a token pound to remember the week by. All in all, I'm good. Their new dog, well puppy, is driving me nuts. She's still in the "play with me forever!!!" stage. You can't walk in the door or, God forbid, take off a shoe without the dog going into crazy mode. I know it wears off and it's pretty typical of Goldens but, not having pets has made me gradually less tolerant. Cats are still awesome but dogs are rapidly going on my shit list.

I'm excited for Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday, by far. None of the stress of Christmas with all of the same side-dishes. No drama, just good old-fashioned gluttony. As a person inclined to view the world through creative writing-colored glasses, holidays are the perfect opportunity to beef up on some story ideas. Holiday get-togethers are like little soundbites of huge fights, personal tragedies, long-standing feuds and new dramas. The whole thing never comes out but, if you know what to look for, the flags are there. I will be ready and waiting when the bell chimes for round one; kinda like Harriet the Spy, except not hidden, with my little notebook, pencil and half a smile stained by cranberry sauce.

Sometimes, I wish I smoked pot...

What a week from hell...geez. Is the semester over yet? Times like these make me almost wish I smoked pot or something. I could definitely use some chill out time.

I know, I know everyone is tired of hearing about how stressful my Ph.D. application process has been but, hey, tough bananas. I'm losing my mind with this stuff!! Can't a girl whine a little sometimes? It just feels like a never-ending ordeal. Just when I think I've got it all together and ready to go, I check the webpage and *poof* another magical requirement seems to pop up from nowhere. arg. I feel like I have NOTHING left to say. Why do I have to project what my dissertation (of at least 2 years down the road) will be?? How the hell should I know? I thought the whole idea of a doctoral education was to figure out exactly that-- what I will do with the rest of my life. It's so nerve-racking. I worry that it's all going to be a gigantic waste of time and money; every one of these places will just say, "Sorry, you're not what we're really looking for right now." Then what? I haven't even had time to imagine what Plan B would be. I literally have all my little eggs packed into the Ph.D. basket.

I guess I'll do that over Christmas break. Thanksgiving is already taken-- two term papers and more thesis research/writing. Not that I'll get any of that done-- I never do when I go home. All I want to do is let my mother cook and fuss over me, go shopping with her, watch too many movies and sleep late every day. Just be a total bum, in other words, since I never get to do that during the year.

I'm gonna have a girls' potluck with my roomie and some friends Friday night. They don't know it yet, but we're gonna have a major "Apples to Apples" match. I can't get enough of that game. Way too much fun-- and so wacky it always makes me laugh, which I need right now.

Saw "Cars" last night and ate too much. It was just what I needed. What a funny movie. I loved it so much, I would consider buying it. I sometimes just get overloaded with the "adult" world and a good kids flick is exactly what I need; a little thoughtless fantasy and humor never hurt anyone.

Wild West...Yeehaaw!

This is usually WAY too early for me to be doing anything...well, except teaching impressionable young minds. However, I'm pretty nervous about the committee meeting today.

I just don't know what to expect and I am a person that really likes to know what to expect. I have to rush back after class this morning to fix up my bibliography and pay ridiculous amounts of money to print off 4 hard copies of the sucker. I did find out that some of my profs have already submitted their recommendations; phew, one less thing to worry about.

Anyway, enough about work. Let's talk about play! Tonight my Spanish girls are throwing a Wild West party. How awesome is that? Not the most common theme, granted, but interesting nonetheless. I'm going to be an indian (how un-p.c. of me) and my boy will be a cowboy. I drove them around last night to get the groceries, which was fun. I think I learned about 5 new ways to say "shit" in Spanish. God bless hands-on education.

Saturday is hockey!!! I'm dragging two friends and my boy along to see the WVU Hockey team play...someone, I forget. In any case, it will be fun. Worse comes to worse, I huddle and absorb myself in my hot chocolate. I've never seen a hockey game before and I'm all about doing things "I've never done before". My brother thinks I'm a weirdo sometimes, but I like to think of myself as eclectic and, slightly, eccentric.